This morning, this article was posted entitled They're Just Regular Neighbours To Us. Here's the article (or click on the link to visit it directly).
We live next to a couple who are friendly, lovely people. One is a retired principal, and the other still works as a teacher. They are wonderful to live next to. They genuinely care about us and our kids. They give them chocolates, birthday and Christmas presents, and most importantly, attention. They always have kind words and show genuine interest about how and what my kids are doing. They don’t mind giving me a cup of sugar (or wine) when I’m well into a recipe and realize that I’m missing a key ingredient.
On a snowy walk home from school recently, I could see that one of them was shoveling snow so I said to my kids, “Hey look! Is that Gary or Paul shoveling the snow?”
My son who is seven-and-a-half said, “Yes it is! It’s Gary! Gary and Paul live in the house next door. They live together right?”
Me: “Yes they do.”
Son: “Are they brothers or something?”
Me: “No. They are a couple. They love each other and they are married, just like mommy and daddy.”
Son: “Oh! They are gay!”
Me: “Yes they are gay.”
Son: “Cool!”
And that was the end of it. Our neighbours are gay. They love each other, seem very happy, and they are great people. That is where the conversation ends, because isn’t that all that matters? It never occurred to me that I should tell my kids that our neighbours are gay.
I do wonder why it took my son so long to ask me about them. I’m thinking that if they had kids, the question may have come up sooner. I’m doing my best to teach my kids to love good people in our lives based on who they are and how they treat us, not on their sexual orientation. We welcome them into our home and to our parties because they are good people and we enjoy their company. Whether our friends are gay or straight really has nothing to do with it.
I love how simple and accepting kids are and how there is no judgment, just genuine curiosity.
Have your kids asked you about homosexuality? If so, how did you answer them?
If you can imagine, this topic is worthy of a blog post from me. It makes me curious about what people teach their children about homosexuality, especially if you personally have a gay family member or friend. Almost everyone does, whether they like to believe it or not.
Children are not born with hate and prejudism. They don't care if you are black, white, purple, gay, straight, religious, atheist, up-side-down, in-side-out; they simply see the person you are and how you treat them. I wish we all had the mentality of a child in this regard, and I don't mean this just for sexual orientation. I mean this for every single hate and prejudism in the world. Prejudism is taught and typically starts within the home.
Together, Rhonda & I have many nieces and nephews, all who only know Rhonda & I together. None are over 18, which is how long we've been together. So they only know Auntie Rhonda & Auntie Crystal. They love us together and separate but what I hadn't really thought of is, at what age did they realize we were a "couple" and not just their Aunties. Same-sex couples are not common enough for kids to just assume we are a "couple." When kids think of dating, couples, parents and marriage, they automatically think of a boy & girl, a mom & dad, a husband & wife, a bride & groom. They hear about it in everyday adult conversation, see it on tv, read it in books and magazines; it's everywhere and just assumed. From the time kids are very young, it's easy to ask a little girl "is that your boyfriend?" assuming she likes boys. Or we say to little boys, "do you have a girlfriend?" just assuming he likes girls. So when a situation like ours is present, I don't think kids automatically think that Rhonda & I are a couple the way their parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles may be. What does this mean then? It means we need to teach children that love, relationships, parenting and marriage comes in a variety of forms. Kids are more likely to know that their friend Jimmy's parents are divorced, that Jimmy's dad's girlfriend lives with him and that his mom has two more kids with another guy, than the fact that their Uncle Bob and Uncle Kevin are actually in a loving, committed relationship and have been for 25 years.
It's obvious that we will be teaching Brielle about same-sex marriage & relationships. She lives and sees it every day and she will grow up knowing that her parents (all of them) love and respect each other very much. In turn, we hope to raise a well-rounded, open-minded, loving, caring individual. We don't need to go into great detail when she's young but it's important for her to understand that her family is perfect just the way it is. We hope that our brothers & sisters teach their children this about their Aunties as well.
It saddens me when people raise their children without teaching them that there are others who are different than them in this world. By the time they go to school they will meet other kids who live very differently than they do. There will meet children from most every religion, every race, rich kids, poor kids, kids from split families, same-sex families, kids who don't have families of their own. You name it, they will encounter it, so why wouldn't we prepare our children and teach them that even though someone may not live the way you do, may not have the same beliefs as you, may not dress like you or see everything in the same way you do, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be treated equally, as an individual and with the utmost respect.
Rhonda & I are very blessed to be surrounded by so many loving, caring & supportive family & friends. It has made it so easy to choose to add a little one to our family. In turn, Brielle has been surrounded by nothing but love. She deserves that no matter what her parents sexual orientation is.
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