Good Parents?

I hear her making noise. I open the door and say "good morning Brielle." Her eyes are closed to block out the bright light but she's grinning from ear to ear. I scoop her up and sit in the rocker, laying her in my arms. She opens her eyes, smiles and reaches for my face as we talk to each other, make silly faces, noises and enjoy each other before our day starts. This is how most of my mornings with Brielle start.

Each and every day, I am thankful for what God has given us....a beautiful, smart, fun, amazing baby girl. And each and every day, I wonder what kind of parents we are. Are we doing a good job? How can we do better? I think these are questions that most parents have. I know we're not alone.

What we do, and don't do, affects our baby girl, even at this young age. There is no manual to raising the perfect child or being the perfect parent...well, as close to perfect as you can get. Some may claim they know all of the right and wrong things to do, but let's be realistic here. It's impossible. But as I sit and write this, I am thankful that I know other parents out there who not only cherish their child(ren) the way we cherish Brielle, but they are raising their kids the way we hope to raise Brielle.

It's sad to me that I know way more parents who don't seem to be enjoying their kids like they deserve to be enjoyed and sadly, there are those I feel who are neglecting even their children's basic needs. It breaks my heart. I couldn't imagine putting Brielle last in my life. She deserves to be held, talked to, played with, cuddled, fed healthy meals for her growing body, stimulated to encourage growth and learning, bathed for hygiene and health, routine for stability and most importantly, to be loved and told how special she is. For the parents who are struggling to meet these basic needs, shame on you! The computer, television, socializing and shopping will not replace these moments with your children.

So what are some of the things that I think make good parenting skills? First and foremost, a loving, caring parent will make time for their child. Each and every day, Brielle gets attention from both of her mommies. Each of us spends quality time with her, even during the busiest day. We want her to know she is important, to feel wanted and know that we'll be there for playtime, cuddle time and times when she's just not feeling right.

We talk to her. To us, she is an individual with her own thoughts, feelings, wants and needs. Obviously since she's only 6 months old, these things will continue to change as she grows and matures. It's important for us to grow and mature with her so we can all develop healthy communication skills. It's how you build trust, which every good parent knows is important when your goal is to raise good kids. Without trust, kids can and will get into a lot of trouble. It's also important to make your kids feel safe and secure with you and in your home. This will help them grow with self-confidence, which I know I want for Brielle. I had zero self-confidence growing up and I don't wish this on any child. I want her to be proud of who she is. I want her to shine!

A good parent will also take the time to discipline their child, teach them right from wrong and explain things in a way that will allow the child to grow up with good morals, standards and a kind heart. I think far too many parents lack in this department and it shows with the way they treat their children and the way their children treat them and others. I've had parents watch their child spit in my face and say rude things to me, without stepping in. I also know parents who allow their children to bite, kick, scratch and slap them, as well as other people, and I don't understand it. Children learn from the adults in their life. If you do not set a good example, but expect your child to behave in a good manner, you are sending the wrong message. Parents need to be aware of how their behaviour effects their child.

Then there are the things that seem "common sense" to me, like feeding and cleanliness. Health should be high priority on every parents list, for their child. Before they were born, didn't we all say "as long as he/she is healthy, I don't care if it's a boy or a girl." Yet, once they are here, so many people don't think about what they are putting into their child's body. It's our job as a parent to give them proper nourishment, not candy and junk food. If we cared before they were born, we should care afterwards as well. I'm definitely not against a treat, but it should be just that....a treat. We should also strive to have clean homes, bathed children and clean habits. A dirty home (and I'm not talking cluttered), and dirty kids are breeding grounds for sickness. Once again, if we wanted them healthy before they were born, we need to take the time to do the things necessary to keep our children and our homes clean so our they don't get sick. And I'm not suggesting we need to go all "Howie Mandel," but if our children are sick, it's our responsibility to take care of them, bring them to a doctor if they need it, and do our best to keep them healthy in whatever way we can.

There's so much more that I feel comes with being a good parent. If I wrote it all down, I'd be here all day. I don't claim to be a perfect parent, nor will I ever, but I do hope that I'm a good enough parent. And I know that I will be learning and growing along the way, which is part of what I believe makes a good parent. We should always strive to do better. Everyone has the ability to be a good parent. Providing unconditional love, security, patience, quality time, respect, discipline, safety and everything else that comes with a loving home, without violence or neglect, is the best practice towards being the best parent you can be. Anything less is simply not fair.

Parenting isn't all roses and gumdrops. It's the most challenging job in the world, especially if you want to do it right. For me personally, I take this job seriously. My goals, dreams and hopes for Brielle are high and there is no way she'll get there without having parents who care enough to try to give her the best that we can give. We want to "good" spoil her. We want to cherish the little moments just as much as the big. We want her to remember growing up in a loving home with parents who encourage and support her. We want her to be an asset to society and to make it far in life. And we'll do everything we can to give her that. It doesn't involve money or materialistic things. It involves the love of family. Our family.

We never know what the future holds and how long our children will be with us. If the worst happened (makes me sick to think about it) and we lost our baby girl, I know in my heart that we did everything right for her and have already made her first 6 months special. It's been special to us! So ((hug)) your kids. Look at them the way you did when they were first born...with that glow in your heart. And remember to always do right by them. You brought them into this world and they deserve every ounce of everything you have to give....and more.