The Urban Farmhouse Saskatoon: Petiquette

Definition of petiquette: aka, pet etiquette. The proper way to handle and control your pet.

Definition of petiquette in our home: The proper way to handle and control your pet around the baby and the proper way to handle and control your baby around the pets.

In our home we have 10 year old Pyper.

Pyper has always been our most difficult dog, ever since she arrived in our home at 6 weeks old. We've worked very hard to get our "scary" dog to relax, calm down, accept people and exist as a part of our family. For anyone who knew Pyper in the early days, people who did not live in our home were basically unable to get near her, let alone pet her. She has become a complete suck, which is awesome. When we decided to have kids, we were unsure how the situation with Pyper would be? But thankfully, all is going GREAT!

Then we have 4 year old Hallie.

Hallie's only downfalls when she arrived was that she was a bit of a "scaredy cat" and a she would bark at everything. With lots of time, patience and training, we've curbed both of those behaviors. Hallie has always been docile and a complete sucky dog! We have never had issue with her around people so we never worried about her around kids.

We also have 2 cats; Toby & Tongwa, who are just turning 12 years old. Both are very friendly and we never once had a concern with them around kids. In fact, Toby and Brielle are best buds!

And then we have busy, fun-loving, adorable, Brielle who will be 10 months old in less than a week.

By far, Cesar Milan has THE BEST tips for introducing your dog(s) to your new baby. Here's what Cesar says:

Our dogs are very in tune with us, so with an event as monumental as a pregnancy, your dog has already sensed that something is up. But just because she has picked up on the new feelings hanging in the air, doesn't mean that she understands what they mean.

Here are a few tips for preparing your dog for the new arrival.

Focus on leadership. Nine months is more than enough to time to work through most issues and establish yourself as the unwavering pack leader. Smooth out any small problems you may be having. Break her of unwanted habits. If necessary, hire a professional to work with you. You will appreciate the work you put in now when you bring your newborn home to a calm, well-behaved dog.

Be aware of your energy. A pregnancy affects the entire household. You may feel excited, anxious, or worried. Remember, your dog will mirror your emotions.

Claim your baby's scent. Bring an item that contains your baby's scent, such as a burp cloth, from the hospital before bringing home the baby. During this exercise, it is crucial that you set clear boundaries. Challenge the dog to sniff from a distance, while you are holding the item. By doing so, you are communicating to your dog that the item is yours and then giving permission for the dog to sniff. "This new item belongs to me, and you will need to follow my rules when around it." This helps start the process of creating respect for the baby.

Establish boundaries around the nursery. I recommend starting with the nursery off-limits. Condition your dog to understand that there is an invisible barrier that she may not cross without your permission. Eventually, you can allow your dog to explore and sniff certain things in the room—with your supervision. Then you decide when she needs to leave. Repeat this activity a few times before the baby arrives. This will let your dog know that this room belongs to a pack leader and must be respected at all times.

Control the introduction. Start by taking your dog on a long walk. Be sure to drain all of your dog's energy. Before returning, wait at the door step; make sure your dog is in a calm-submissive mode before inviting her in. Upon entering, your dog will instantly know there is a new scent in the house. If you have already introduced the scent, it will be somewhat familiar. The mother or father holding the baby must be in a completely calm-assertive state. The dog should be allowed to sniff the baby, but at a respectful distance. During this first meeting, do not bring the baby too close. Eventually, the dog can be allowed to get closer and closer to the baby. By doing this, you are teaching the dog to respect the baby as another pack leader.

Teach your baby. Once your child is in the exploratory state, it is important to supervise all interactions between him or her and the dog. This is a great opportunity to teach your child not to bother the dog, yank her tail, etc. These lessons on mutual respect cannot begin early enough. Too many children have inadvertently provoked an otherwise peaceful dog, simply because they were unsupervised or their parents had not given them proper instruction.

Don't forget the dog. A dog does not need toys or special attention to feel important; you simply need to maintain the routine, providing daily walks and consistent leadership. This will help your dog feel secure and allow her to relax about the new addition to the family.

Forget breed. Don't assume your dog will not pose a problem based on breed alone, or vice versa. Sure, babies have been bitten by Rottweilers and pit bulls, but they have also been injured by labs, chows, and mixed breeds. A baby in Rhode Island was killed by a cute little Pomeranian. What is the key? Leadership. Be honest with yourself. Can you control your dog at all times in all situations?

Your child's safety comes first. If, after working with a professional and on your own, you are still not able to be 100% pack leader with your dog, then you must seriously think about using those nine months for finding your dog another home.

Even if your baby is born and at home with you already, and your dogs/cats need to learn some new rules, boundaries & limitations, it's never too late to start!

Meeting Pyper for the first time. Really, Pyper didn't seem to care. She was more excited to be invited up onto the couch!

I agree with every bit of what Cesar says. Our dogs have been fantastic with Brielle from day one. We established boundaries right from the start and now they approach to "kiss" her when invited. They will sit near her when she's on the floor but they never bother her. Since Brielle is now mobile, we are teaching her to play with Pyper (because Hallie doesn't play). Pyper brings the ball or a toy and Brielle gets to throw it. Pyper has been awesome and this game really is a two-way street towards respect.

Just chillin' with her pups!

Our dogs are not allowed on furniture unless invited so we have never had an issue with them jumping up onto any surface where Brielle is; especially when she was very young. And they listen quite well when she is on the floor. If we ask them to stay on their dog bed to ensure they don't bother her, and vise versa, they will. All of our years of hard work and training is paying off with a baby in the house.

Not only do the dogs have to have respect for the baby, but the cats have also had to learn. Tongwa has pretty much not cared about Brielle since she was born, so we've not really had to worry about him, but Toby is another story. He loves to be near her, no matter what. She could do anything to him and he just soaks it all up. But since our cats are not free to roam the house when we are asleep or when we're not home (they have their own room), and they are not allowed on furniture as well, we have not had to worry about them sleeping in her crib, carseat, etc. Toby can be a bit "in your face" at times, so he is asked to leave her alone on a regular basis.

As close to the pet bed as she's allowed to be! Tongwa usually ignores her so it was nice that they could "bond" over lunch.

Brielle has been around these animals since birth and has had to learn from a very young age, to be respectful of them. She too had boundaries and limitations when it comes to the animals, their things and their space. Sadly, I don't think that happens in most households. But fair is fair. If we want the animals to respect her, we need her to respect them. When she was really young and started out in the jolly jumper, we couldn't keep Toby away from her. He would rub up against her so she'd grab his hair or an ear and bounce away! We thought Toby would be smart enough to leave her alone if she was hurting him. Turns out, he's not that smart. He would still allow her to pull his hair and ears, if we would allow it. But we don't. After a short while we realized that Toby would let her do anything, so we put a stop to that quickly.

The dogs are not allowed to play with Brielle's toys and in turn, she is not allowed to play with theirs. Up until recently, every dog toy she could quickly snatch up, went in her mouth. But just by teaching her that dog toys are for dogs to play with, and she can share in the fun by throwing it, this simple game has really helped her to not put their toys in her mouth. She'd rather throw the toy.

Watching her pups outside. She just loves those dogs!!!

When petting the dogs or cats, Brielle has had to learn to be "gentle" and to not pull their hair or ears. She is not allowed to poke at their eyes, jump on them, grab them forcefully or be disrespectful to their body in any way. So in turn, she's learned to simply reach out to touch them and kiss them.

Far too often I hear people comment on how good their dog is with their kid. "My kid jumps all over him, pulls his ears, pulls his tail, pokes his eyes and he's just so good that he doesn't try to bite them. And if he ever did, he'd be in trouble." This frightens me and makes me feel for that animal. NEVER should children be allowed to invade and abuse a dog like that; even the tamest of dogs....and cats, for that matter. Put yourself in the dogs place. Would you allow your child to jump on you, pull your ears, poke you in the eyes, slap you, punch you, kick you or abuse you in any way while you sit there and just take it? I sure hope not. And if you were to get upset and stand up for yourself while being abused, it would be even worse if someone told you you had to take it and you were punished for standing up for yourself. Brielle will never get the opportunity to do this to any animal. Even animals in the park or zoo. She will never be allowed to chase ducks or geese in the park, nor will she be able to chase or tease chickens, rabbits, goats, or any other animal in a zoo/petting zoo. Causing undue stress to any animal just isn't fair and we should be teaching our children respect and compassion.

She was just learning to crawl so we had to teach her not to go terrorize the critters on their bed.

We have other limitations and rules that we follow in the home. Brielle is not allowed to jump and play on the pet beds. We have numerous beds on every floor of the house, mostly because the animals are not allowed on the furniture. So if we sit beside her on the floor, she can sit near or just on the edge of the pet bed, but that's it. Never is she allowed there on her own, especially while the dogs are on the bed. In turn, the dogs have respect for Brielle's bedroom and her things. They occasionally wander in if we're in there, but never do they go hang out in her room or touch her things.

When it comes to food, we also have rules. Brielle & I have the same routine every morning. I get her up, dressed and then we go next door to the dogs room (yes, they have their own room too) to feed them. Their dishes are on the floor but I still set Brielle down while the dogs are on their bed, fill the dishes and release the dogs to eat. Brielle isn't allowed to touch the dishes or approach the dogs while they are eating. It's a respect thing and it's mutual when she's eating. The dogs are asked to go lay down, so they are not allowed to beg or hover around her highchair. They either choose to lay on their bed or on one of the rugs, and either is okay. We will also not allow her to throw her food down to them, although at this point there doesn't seem to be any concerns of that happening. She doesn't waste a spec of food on her tray!

Buddies!

So with all of these rules in place, you're probably wondering what we do allow? The biggest thing we allow is respect. Since we've all learned to get along so well, there really isn't much worry that goes on in our house. Brielle plays on the floor, the dogs and cats walk around, at some point during the day at least 3 or all 4 of the critters are laying down where Brielle is playing with her toys and we simply have no issues. It's awesome! They are never left unattended together but at the same time, we've taught everyone well enough that we just don't need to worry. Fun is allowed. The dogs have fun. The cats have fun. The humans have fun. We have fun together. We have fun separately. No worry about constantly picking up toys for fear the dogs will take the babies toys or the baby will take the dogs toys. It all works out great. Kisses! There are a whole lot of kisses floating around this house. The baby kisses mommies. Mommies kiss the baby. The baby kisses the dogs. The dogs kiss the cats. The cats kiss the baby (okay, that means Toby tries to groom Brielle's hair by licking her). The baby kisses the cats. The dogs kiss the baby. The dogs kiss each other. Mommies kiss each other. There is just a whole lotta kissing going on. We have created a harmonious place for everyone to live.

We should never accept the behaviors of our dogs and children when they aren't doing the right thing. Just because your dog can reach food off of your babies highchair doesn't mean it's acceptable. Just because your baby hits your dog doesn't mean it's acceptable. We are the adults. We are the caregivers of these children & animals, so let's raise them right.

It now makes sense to me when Cesar says that if your dog already has rules, boundaries and limitations at home, then your dog will know how to accept a new member of the family. So very true and I don't know why we were nervous before Brielle was born? We have well-set rules, boundaries and limitations in our home. It's how we are all able to co-exist so well since there are now 7 of us living in this small house. We couldn't make it work so smoothly any other way.