Me, Being A Parent

I have been a parent...a mother, for 243 days. 348,480 minutes. 20,908,800 seconds. In my opinion (and this post is strictly my opinion), my journey as a parent, a mother, began the day we found out we were expecting. That day was November 10, 2011. Since then my parent/mother button kicked in and I thought about our child every single day and night. I wondered would the pregnancy go well, what would he/she look like, what my feelings would be the moment she arrived, what would it be like bringing her home, would we fit into our new routine well, would Rhonda & I make good enough parents, what would teething be like, how would we handle sleepless nights and even questions much further into the future like when will she lose her first tooth, would she believe in Santa long enough to have a magical childhood, would I be strong enough to fight back tears when she breaks an arm or a leg, will she be scared on her first day of school, and will she miss us when she goes away to camp for the first time? When you decide to become a parent, and actually want to make a difference in your child's life, every single event from birth on, runs through your head at one point or another.

Those fortunate enough to have children either the good old fashioned way, a donor, adoption, foster parent, step parent....basically any way possible, are lucky. Many want children and simply can't have them for whatever reason. Others have them, often too many, and don't care enough to even create a future for them. But for those of us who have been fortunate enough to go through this amazing journey, we should be extremely grateful. And we should never take one single moment for granted. Savor the moments, big or small. Cherish the memories. Create a bright and happy future.

The thought occurred to me the other day that there are so many people out there who claim to be parents yet they are not fulfilling their parental role and duty. This also got me thinking about what it means to me to be a parent. What is my role as a parent? Do I need to be a biological parent to be a good parent? Absolutely not! My goals and dreams for Brielle would be the same as if I had birthed a child from my own body. I love her unconditionally, care about her well being and am able to put her needs above mine. Patience, nurturing, and being a good role model are all things I have already begun to practice with her. I am strong for her when I need and melt with her in my arms every other moment of the day.  I want nothing but the best for her from our simple day to day routine to all of the moments ahead as she grows into a young lady, and beyond. I vow to teach her kindness and compassion, give her strength to conquer anything she chooses and discipline enough to be a respectful person in our society. I don't want to be her best friend, but rather the one she learns to trust with anything life sends her way. Not the cool parent, but the confident and strong one who will help her get through the difficult times and not so wise choices she will face. But these are not the only things, in my opinion, that make you a parent. While they are extremely important and are my base, the smaller, everyday details also count in a very big way.

I could not say with confidence that "I am a parent....I am a mother...I have a daughter" if I wasn't taking care of Brielle's day to day needs. As anyone with a newborn (or who has had a newborn) knows, it's a tough job. Unless you choose to experience it first hand, you could never even begin to imagine. What does it mean when she cries? What does each cry sound like? She needs to be fed again but we've only had a couple hours of sleep (although Rhonda needs full credit for this as I only occasionally fill in with a bottle). It's the middle of the night and she needs to be changed and rocked after feeding so I get up from a dead sleep to help the other mommy. I've changed 3 poopy diapers in less than an hour. Oh, baby needs another bath. More laundry! Quick, let's make sure she's fed before her doctors appointment. We just used the last diaper so we need to find time to make it to the store. $15.99 for a pack of preemie diapers, are you kidding!!!! And that's a small list of the daily life with Brielle. Again, those who have experienced it will appreciate it.

But all of the big and small things that make a person a parent are worth it. Every moment of lost sleep. Every penny (or dollar) spent. Every cry. Every poop. Every burp. Every hiccup. Every fart. Every blown out diaper. Every load of laundry. All of it is nothing compared to that face. That smile. That smell. That warmth. Those eyes. Those lips. Those 10 finger and 10 toes. Those snuggles. Those bath time farts. Those silly faces. Those pouty lips. The unconditional love.

Being a parent for the past 243 days has been the single most important, bestest job in the world that I could have ever had the privilege of having. I'm so glad Brielle chose me to be one of her mommies...her parents. And while our journey together has just begun, I am open to the growing and change that will wake up with us each and every day for the rest of our lives. After all, that's just a part of what being a parent is all about. Nobody said it would be easy but I've heard it's worth it!!